ENTRY 9 Conclusion Paragraph

   CONCLUSION

   To conclude, it is clear that many of the accidents on the roads are caused by the use of cell phones. It means that an adequate and efficient regulation laws are necessary. Besides,  expert testimony, public opinion, and even cartoons suggest that driving while phoning is very dangerous. Moreover, scientific research confirms the dangers of using this kind of gadgets while on the road. Unluckily , millions of people die because of this fact, around the world, every day.

Entry 8

Immigration around the world

     Nowadays, immigration is the picture of modern world -travelling from one country to another-. Immigrants settle down for various reasons, better opportunities employment, a desire for a better standard of living and future, which are the main driving forces. Though, in present times, there are several other reasons like  looking for current free education and seek for political asylum in neutral countries. Nevertheless, the majority of immigrants suffer from discrimination, they work in illegal jobs and their wages are low. Finally, they may adapt themselves to a new life style, costumes and in many cases a new language.

Entry 7

Tourism in Argentina.

      In my country, tourism is becoming more attractive every year. Many people come from different countries. In order to see the wonders of our territory from the North to the South.

     To begin with, European tourists enjoy visiting the Waterfalls located in Misiones, the northeast of our country. There, people can carry out different activities such as, rafting, walking through the jungle, you can bird-watching and enjoy the beautiful view of the waterfalls themselves. Argentina has a wide range weather moving from the south to the north, another magnificent place to visit is “La Quebrada de Humahuaca”, in the North of Argentina, where American tourists can learn about our history and enjoy the picturesque landscapes. Moreover, we have “La Patagonia”, it is located in the south of Argentina. There, oriental people can visit the impressive “Glaciar Perito Moreno”.

    To conclude, it is world-widely known that the Republic of Argentina has natural wonders which will always attract “travelling lovers” so tourism turns over to be an effective way to make people visit us.

(my version)

Tourism in Argentina.

   In my country, there are wonderful places where people from all over the world can have relaxing holidays with picturesque landscape. If you are looking for an ease and delightful scene Argentina is the appropriate.

  To begin with, European tourists enjoy visiting the Waterfalls located in Misiones, the northeast of our country. There, people can carry out different activities such as, rafting, walking through the jungle, you can bird-watching and enjoy the beautiful view of the waterfalls themselves. Argentina has a wide range weather moving from the south to the north, another magnificent place to visit is “La Quebrada de Humahuaca”, in the North of Argentina, where American tourists can learn about our history and enjoy the picturesque landscapes. Moreover, we have “La Patagonia”, it is located in the south of Argentina. There, oriental people can visit the impressive “Glaciar Perito Moreno.

   To sum up, Argentina is the best alternative to spend an amazing time, because  weather moving from the north to the south or the west to the east, you can find mountains, snow, waters fall and the sea in the same country. 

my mate´s version)

Analysis

Analyzing both paragraphs I notice that my mate´s sentence and conclusion reflect the same idea. However, the topic sentence does not explain in detail what the paragraph is going to be about and it is not related to the body of the writing and the conclusion does not mention the elements that were mentioned in the topic sentence.